Maitland Ward Sweaty Stretchy See-Through Bouncy Boobtastic Workout

Well hello there Maitland Ward and those sweet sweaty yams. Maitland not only seems super flexible and like one awesome girlfriend, she boxes and lifts and poses and crunches and does a bunch of other cliche workout moves that make me wonder if she's not just putting on a bit of a show. Like I care. Wet see through tank tops and braless workouts for busty girls is one excellent combination.

We seem to be seeing more and more of Maitland recently. I mean that both in frequency and skin. This has to mean she's getting up to something good. Hopefully, something good and nekkid. Those big twin sisters need to be exposed for the blessing of gentlemen oglers everywhere. I can only imagine the full sweetness. Enjoy.

Leanna Decker Topless Hot Striptease Will Tingle Your Very Soul


I'm not sure how you make a gorgeous looking hot bodied woman taking off her stripety top any hotter, but if I has to make a rough guess, I'd say by giving her a ginger top like scarlet icing on the sextastic cake.

Seeing wicked scrumptious Leanna Decker stripping out of her clothes is truly a religious experience. I feel incredibly guilty, heavily filled with the spirit, and I just know I'm going to be rushing to find some thoughtful reflection time when it's over. She really is one alluring put together woman. I'm almost kind of giddy here, like a schoolboy seeing his first girlie magazine. I mean, after I sold it to them as I did back in middle school. Everybody needs to make a buck, everyone wants to feel a thrill. I served both needs. As Leanna Decker serves our needs today. Her version is much nicer. Enjoy.

Mellisa Clarke Naturally Naughty Ta-Ta Throwdown With Nicole Neal With the Sextastic Appeal


It's time for the weekly Battle of the Boobtastic. That moment each week when we celebrate the finest of the funbags by pitting two of them, make that, four of them, against each other in a competition for Funion supremacy. It's not always civil, but it's always super hot.

This week's battle pits the peaches of au natural goth hottie Mellisa Clarke and her brunette bangs against the banging hot body of blonde goddess Nicole Neal. It pains me to think of either of them going home unhappy with the results of a boob judging contest, but judge you must. Making attractive women cry is your sacred duty. So, in your expert opinion, whose ta-ta's reign supreme?

Battle of the Boobtastic: Mellisa Clarke vs. Nicole Neal

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Nikki Lund Bikini Boobtastic Big and Bold in Malibu

Nikki Lund is a fashion designer who I'd claim is a bikini model first and foremost. It doesn't really matter what your day job is when you look like Nikki in a bikini on the beaches in Los Angeles. It's like LeBron James calling himself a fisherman. Nope. You're a baller. And, you, Nikki, are a bikini landmark.

Nikki was on the beach in Malibu flaunting her assets and acting as if one thousand men weren't virtually undressing her with their eyes, if not other sensory organs. I've always wondered if women can actually feel it telekinetically when the number of gentleman oglers with prurient thoughts reaches a certain number. Does your skin feel a warmth? Sadly, I shall never know what the receiving end feels like. I can tell you, the giving end is really quite pleasant and tingly. Good show, Nikki. Thank you. Enjoy.

Iggy Azalea Tosses Her Assasaurus around the O2 Arena

Iggy Azalea has quite the bottom thing going on. I'm not sure by what means that beast came to be born, but it's an epic keester that Iggy uses like a weapon when she's on stage entertaining the people who like her music, and maybe her curvy body as well. Put me in the camp of the latter. I'm not sure I could do 90 minutes of screaming kids and uninspired music, but I could do 90 hours of staring at her thumper and imagining the possibilities. If her rumored sex tape comes out, I might have to make that 90 days.

Iggy Azalea has certainly propelled herself to the top of the charts in a rather short amount of time. At least since we first met here. The larger that butt monster of hers grows, the more her popularity may continue to rise. There's some mathematical equation I'm sure that explains this. Enjoy.

Chelsea Heath Bikini Hotness Pimping That Designer Water

I can get enough bottled water. I can not get enough wicked hot young models in bikinis pimping said bottled water. Chelsea Heath is the latest pimp d'hour sextastic bikini model to take the 138 water challenge. That is, looking wicked hot along the beach in Malibu while pretending it's all about the water and not about her ridiculously hot bikini body. Maybe it's just me, but when I see a crazy good looking woman in a bikini, I pay little attention to what's in her hand. Unless it's a gun pointed at me asking me how I got past her Rotweilers and security guards and into her bedroom. Then I do notice.

Chelsea Heath, I know this kind of shoot is a big break for you and I applaud your efforts and all the beautiful parts of you that are also efforting to be noticed. Brains alone get us nowhere in life. I'm speaking hypothetically, I don't really know what that's like. But I do know I'm in lust with Chelsea and her bikini booty. Oh, man, pour some out for my gonad homies. Enjoy.

Berit Birkeland Topless Minnesotan Beach Girl Hotness for Galore


If you happen to love your tall blonde Nordic types from the upper Midwest, prepare to fall in lust with young fair-haired model Berit Birkeland, or just Berit, as she's known in the fashion modeling pro circuit, featured this month quite topless and udderly delicious in Galore magazine.

It's not often that I come across a girl that steals my heart and loins in one fell swoop. Maybe thrice a day at most. Put this lovely funbagged lass well into that camp. I could easily see taking her to meet my parents so they can say to me, wait, I thought you were gay. Well, not that there's anything wrong with that, but, no, it's girls like Berit and their outstanding bodies that make me swoon and flutter. With a heavy lean toward the fluttering. Be still my tender bits. Berit, I am so damn glad to meet you. Enjoy.